I forgot that it was Friday.

The kids were finally off from school for Christmas break and my husband took the day off, too. It felt like a Saturday and we all slept in - a simple luxury reserved for that one day each week.

Tiny Boy got up and climbed in bed with us. It is such a comfy, cozy place that it did not take long for him to fall asleep again. I stayed awake, savoring the moment.



The cheery yellow room, dusky with the early morning light.

Flannel sheets and a heavy comforter to ward off the chill of the wintery, snow-covered morning.

The smell of a warm little head pressed close against my chest.

Papa Bear snoring on one side, Baby Bear snoring on the other, Mama Bear sighing contentedly in the middle.

It seems that God is reminding me at every turn to stop and smell the roses. To enjoy the moments. To treasure them in my heart like Mary did. The word "treasure" means to "regard something as valuable." Scripture tells us that after all of these amazing events: the Angel of God coming to Mary, her visit with Elizabeth, the Angel's visit to Joseph, the Shepherd's fantastic story...  Mary tucked these things in her heart so that she could think over them again. (Luke 2:19, 33)

She regarded these moments as valuable and thought back to them many times throughout her life.

Like His "first-born son" offering at the Temple where the Prophet Simeon runs to Him and blesses Him, then the prophetess Anna comes just at that moment and does the same. (Luke 2:25-38)

When Wise Men from another country showed up at the house, announcing that they had come to worship this special Child-King. (Matthew 2: 1-12)

Or Joseph's dream, warning them of the danger to Jesus' life and their hasty midnight journey out of the country, followed by the horrendous news reports of the infanticide of ALL baby boys! (Matthew 2:13-23)

Perhaps each and every time Jesus did something that amazed her throughout His childhood. (Luke 2:40)

Or the time that He astonished the Rabbis in the Temple with His understanding of the scriptures - (He should understand it - He wrote it! Luke 2:41-52)

I wonder if she was thinking of these things at the wedding in Cana when she said to the servants, "Whatever He says to you, do it." (John 2:1-12) He had not even introduced Himself to the world and started His official ministry! He had not done any public miracles that are recorded in scripture up to this point. But she remembered Who He was, and she knew what He was cappable of, so her faith in Him prompted her to tell others to trust Him also.

I do not have a child who is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords so I do not have those kinds of moments to treasure. But I am a child of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and He gives the simple gift of special moments. I, then, have the opportunity to choose to treasure them - to tuck them away in my heart and be thankful for them, or to be too busy to notice. To see the world through His eyes, or to be so self-absorbed that I miss the simple gifts happening all around me at any given moment.

I am slowly learning to make the better choice.

What Simple Gifts have you been given today? Don't forget to take the time to notice!

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Hollow.

Something was clearing lacking. How could a talent show bring JOY, HOPE, or PEACE? Where does Christmas Spirit come from, anyway?

Everyone talks about this special emotion that turns ordinarily self-centered people into giving and caring people - at least for once a year. The reason that Christmas Spirit is so celebrated is that it is a novelty, not common place. But what difference does it make if you are transformed only once a year?

Christmas Spirit does not come from the giving or receiving of gifts, talent shows with dancing elves, Santa Claus, or a date on the calendar. Christmas Spirit is what is born in our hearts when we receive the Gift that God offered – His son Jesus Christ, who took the punishment that we deserve for our sin – to die and be separated from the true and Living God, who made each of us and loves us with an everlasting love.

Once this Christmas Spirit is born in your heart, it never goes away. It is this gift, Jesus, Who brings joy, hope and peace.
Do you have this Everlasting Christmas Spirit?

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Michelle Duggar from TLC's "19 Kids and Counting" is a No Drama Mama. At first I kind of wondered if she might just be acting calm while her TV crew is there(unlike another TLC mother who doesn't mind everyone watching her regular meltdowns).
Then I saw an episode where Michelle's birthday was celebrated with family and her sister-in-law talked about how she is always calm and collected - she said that she'd never seen Michelle yell at her kids in all of those years!


I've always wanted to be a No Drama Mama, but lets' face it, I'm a red-head and I've got all of the passion and zest that the legends are made of.

- And the propensity for over-reacting.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind having passion and zest....

It's the over-reacting that I could do without!

Sometimes I feel more like the comic strip character Cathy going "Aaack!" all of the time!

The MOPS word this week is "Calm" - - and boy do I wish that was a character quality that was firmly ingrained in me!

I want to be calm.

Serene.

Cool as a cucumber.

God has put 1 Peter 3:3-4 on my heart for the coming year:

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." NIV

It is my mission this year to make that verse live in me. There is only one way to accomplish that, though. John 15: 4-5 has the answer:

"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing." NKJV

I saw part of an interview with Michelle in which she was asked what she does to decompress, where does she go to get a little "me" time. She said that she goes to her room and turns on a CD of scripture reading. Occasionally she falls asleep to the powerful Words of God. She said that the children know to turn away from her bedroom door if they hear the voice of that narrator.

THIS is abiding.

Clinging to that Vine and drawing life from Him.

Sometimes I think that it is not possible for me, a red-head, to be calm. It is one thing to say "God is in the business of changing lives" when you are talking about a former drug addict or someone who is saved from a life of grotesque sin, but I rarely think about it in reference to ME!

I forget that God is just as capable of changing ME.

That the God of infinite patience can create patience in me...

Or that He Who is the PRINCE OF PEACE can call peace into my heart.

But this year I am choosing to cling to this hope and Trust Him to create in me "a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

What about you?

What do you need to trust God for in your life in the coming year?

Do You believe that He can do it?



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For several years I struggled with the idea of being "Filled with the Spirit."


I mulled over these thoughts from time to time. One day I heard a preacher illustrate it in a way that I could understand!

You are a stay-at-home mom. "A noble occupation!" you say out-loud as you drive home, startling yourself as your sharp comment breaks the silence.

Yes it is!

But have you ever thought of Homemaking as a job? Over the years I have encountered many women who stay home with their children and have been surprised how many of them think of it as only that - staying home.

I have been thinking about this for a week or so - ever since I read what one woman wrote about why she does not facebook. She said that she is such a social person that it would consume large amounts of her time. Time that is better spent in her home. She said, "I know working mothers who are better homemakers than stay-at-home moms because when they get home, they are fully engaged."

Shocking, but true. I know some my self. Sometimes I AM one of those dis-engaged women. I have had to learn to see this as a real job and, from time to time, I have had to remind myself to be more professional about it.

I thought about some of the "rules" that would keep a person from getting fired at any other job and wondered how much better our homes would run if the concepts were applied to this job as well!

So. For those of you who consider yourselves Professional Homemakers...



Get up in a timely fashion. Just because you don't have to get up, does not mean that you should not get up early! I find that I can accomplish the most in the morning. By the afternoon I feel sleepy and have to make a point of pushing on until I stop feeling tired. By the time I get all six (or seven) children to bed, I am wiped out. Any intentions that I had to get more done, fly out the window.

I also have to force myself to go to bed instead of vegging in the evening, because it does not help to stay up late and start off the next morning tired. Get the rest you need to do your job well!
 If you are not a morning person, you still have a job to do! My husband does not like to be spoken to first thing in the morning and he cannot eat when he first wakes up. He does not want me to get up and make him breakfast! He gets up a little bit early just so that he can get a cup of coffee and watch the news for a 1/2 hour before getting dressed for work. By the time he gets there, he is able to face other people.

You might also need to get up a little bit earlier so that you can face your family and your job in the morning.

Schedule one day each week to sleep in. Snuggle, take it slow, savor the warmth of the comforter and hubby's precious snoring. Welcome the kids into the bed for some cuddle time, too. Or lock the door and enjoy a few moments with just hubby. Having one day each week to savor the moment will make it more special, and give you something to look forward to without sliding into a lifestyle of laziness and lack of prodictivity.

2. Dress the part.





3. Do your job.

Start out by getting Organized. (See Organize Your Day {the Mary and Martha Way})

Tithe your time. (Spend some time with the Lord.)

Make a schedule that works for you and your family - and stick to it!

Make a (realistic) list of the things that you need to accomplish, and set out to do them. As you complete each task, cross it off and savor that sense of satisfaction! Remember to factor in interruptions and spur-of-the-moment needs of your small children. Get back to your tasks as soon as you can or, if needed on a particular day, scrap it and start fresh tomorrow!

4. Don't do personal things on company time.

You don't have someone else restricting your time - you have to do it for yourself.

Schedule those things in at nap time or while you are nursing your infant. Set a timer. Stop when your time is up - don't "give your-self permission" to do what you know is not right because then it becomes sin. Think of these "me-time" things as "break-time," or do it for a little while in the evening after you "Clock Out" - (just don't stay up too late and miss out on sleep time or hubby time).


5. Go above and beyond.

This is one area in which my husband excels. He really knows how to see what needs to be done and do it without being asked. He hates being bored at work so he will organize shelves and drawers in common areas, clean things, or invent projects for himself to do during slack times. Last year, he wrote a "procedure manual" for his entire department. His boss was amazed and asked him when he had found the time to do such a large (and much-needed) project. He had simply squeezed it in during all of his spare moments.

As Homemakers, we often feel like our jobs are plagued by re-work. We wash the clothes - and the next week we wash the same clothes. We vacuum the carpet,  and the next day we vacuum the same carpet. We wash the dishes, and three hours later we wash the same dishes... It can become easy to dream about a different job - one with exciting new tasks around every corner - and hard to remember that most jobs are one kind of re-work or another. So change that Stinkin' Thinkin' and remember "In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
1 Thessalonians 5:18

One way to spice it up is to occasionally do something that will stay done so that months later you can point to it and say "I painted that wall, I sewed that dress, I made that afghan, I took that picture (and framed it and hung it)..."

Look for those extra things that need to be done and do them.

But...

If you are the mother of a newborn, caring for an elderly parent, shuffling a dozen kids to sports and music lessons.... If you are sleep-deprived and holding on by a thread? Find things to NOT do. It might be on your list. You might want to do it. But maybe it simply does not need to be done - or at least not right now, or today, or this week. You do not have to make home-made cinnamon rolls, you can pick some up at the market. You don't have to re-paint that room, just put out a fresh vase of flowers.

You might need to practice some "responsible procrastination."

6. Seek to please your Clientele!
"Who's that?" you ask.

Why, your family, of course!

Don't think of your husband as a "boss," think of him as a client. Pay attention to what he likes. Sometimes he won't really say it, but that does not mean that you don't know..

I heard someone on the radio say that if you pay attention to what people complain about, you can find out what is important to them.

Listen.

Does he complain about the hasitly prepared TV dinners, the untidiness of the bedroom, or how the dishes never quite seem to be done? AHA! You have just discovered what he values! Now start trying to please your most important client!

So, professional homemaker, what about you?

Are you simply "staying home"? Or are you "Making Home"?


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Across the "street" from my house is a golf course and beyond that is one of the highest hills in the county, Sugar Loaf Mountain (named such because it used to be a ski resort - hence the chair lift in the foreground). A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I, along with our six children, climbed to the top to take in the views during our "full color" season.  

Facing East


 It was beautiful.

You can see for miles!

...Rolling hills blotted by an array of vivid colors.


...And the old ski resort in disrepair down below.

It is a great view...


I had just told her that I'd seen the picture that she posted on facebook of a shirt that she had purchased for my niece bearing the words "Everyone is Thankful for ME!" For most children, that statement could seem narsicistic, but not for Sweet Emily. For Emily, it's true!

Emily was born with Distal 18q- but her symptoms are not severe so she was not diagnosed until she was nearly two (her doctor was just dealing with each new symptom as it showed up).

I have never detected even a hint of bitterness in my sister-in-law. She simply had always had that question in the back of her mind and she voiced it! For two and a half years now, I have watched her handle the multitudes of doctor's appointments, surgeries, casts, leg braces and hearing aids with such grace. Emily is not coddled, so she has no idea that she has any limitations - she just takes everything in stride.
I knew just what to say.

"It's all a matter of perspective." I said.

I explained what I meant - that it's not that "some are blessed and some are not," we just have different types of blessings. Those of us who have "healthy" children have that one-dimentional blessing, but people who have "special needs" children have multi-dimensional blessings.

I reminded her of the things that she had just said about how amazed she is that her daughter is able to hear enough to speak and how she sits and watches her walk and thanks God that Emily is able to walk at all. I told her that the rest of us take those things for granted. It's not that we aren't thankful, we just don't have a reason to stand in awe about it, or to know that feeling of needing God on a day by day basis.

I pointed out that she was also a beneficiary of the "extra measure of grace" that God gives to us when we are in the midst of trials.

"These are all good things... If you choose to see it that way." I said.
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Perspective is something that I believe that my mother cultivated in me. I remember that on several occasions she asked me to put myself in the other person's shoes and try to see how they might be feeling, or what they may have been thinking in the situation. This skill has come in handy all through my life.
It has made a difference in ministry, in my marriage, and in relationships.

Hurt feelings can be saved by using this wonderful tool called perspective (I know because I have done it both ways!) When I get caught up in my own selfishness, and see only my own point of view, then disaster... But when I take a few moments to consider what the other person might be thinking or feeling, I am able to empathize with them and keep my emotions in check. (That is why it is one of the best tools to use in marriage!)

Perspective also helps with circumstances.

How many times do we grudgingly endure difficult circumstances, hoping that they will soon pass and we can get on with an easier life?

Scripture tells us to correct our perspective in difficult times:

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." James 1:2-4 NLT

Today, if you are struggling with a hard time in a relationship or a circumstance in your life, instead of changing where you are, trying turning around and seeing it a different way. It could change your life!

As I washed dishes, my husband flipped through the channels on the TV. He stopped on one long enough for me to hear a woman say:

"Someone helped put a mirror up in front of my face, and I didn't like what I saw one bit. You know what I did? I changed. And that someone was Mrs. Threadgoode."
Fried Green Tomatoes

Those words pulled at my heart because it reminded me of a time in my life when I needed someone to hold that mirror up to my face.

It must have been ten or twelve years ago. My husband and I had been in full-time ministry and left it because we could not raise our support, my husband was struggling to find his niche in the "real world," I had not done a good job of "leaving and cleaving" and was going back and forth between my husband and my parents, we had just bought our first home, and we had a couple of very small children.



I was aghast. "Leave him!! How could she say that! She was supposed to be a godly woman and give me biblical counsel!" I thought. This was hardly biblical counsel in my mind.


I still saw her at MOPS and Bible study and AWANA. I always spoke to her cordially. But I had chosen to end that close friendship. - - And since I no longer had someone to complain to, I stopped complaining and started doing the things that I should have done in the first place in my marriage.


I had a very close friend going through some struggles with her husband. She would call me and talk for hours, detailing everything that annoyed her about her husband and blaming him for her miserable life. She made him sound abusive, controlling, unloving and even potentially dangerous to her children.

...And for the first time in my life, I counselled a Christian woman to leave her husband!

Praise God, my friend did not leave her husband (just as I did not) and today their marriage is much better. (I guess that neither of our husbands were as terrible as we made them out to be!)

Being on the other side made me realize something. Naomi had been giving me good scriptural advice all along! I just had an arsenal of excuses why I could not do those things, or I had half-heartedly tried them and they had not worked. (Duh!)

I had just gained a new perspective - Naomi's perspective on my situation years ago, and I finally understood what made her say it. I was effectively telling her that there was no hope left for my marriage - even though she had been trying to remind me that there was. She said what I needed to hear - - that if I was unwilling to fix it, It could not be fixed. I either needed to "end it" or "mend it."


Yesterday our pastor said, "sometimes you need someone to tell you the truth when you are in a storm... you need to seek out people who will tell you the truth..."

Maybe you are that person in a storm right now and you have a friend giving you godly counsel. Listen! They can see more clearly than you can right now. Do what the scripture says, don't run from it. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it will hurt much less if you face it now rather than later. (I could have continued on that path and had a divorce to deal with along with the issues that already existed in our relationship.I would have simply added shared custody of children, extra living expenses, the  burden of failure - - and STILL had to continue a working relationship with my husband.)

If you don't have someone to tell you the truth, find one! Join a bible study group or call an "older" lady in your church.

Maybe you are the one giving the counsel. Don't be afraid. Keep at it. Don't worry about whether it might cost you the friendship. BE that friend that speaks truth into your friends' lives. You will both be blessed if you do. Even if they cannot thank you now, they will later.

"Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the Word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he had heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does."

James 1:22-25

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Last week's theme word for MOPS was "Patience." As I thought about what to write on the topic of patience, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me what He wanted me to say.

"I want you to talk about getting rid of an unwanted pestilence. Lice. "

"Yuck!" I said. "No way! I feel icky just thinking about it!"

Lice makes its way into over 12 million homes each year. - - Even those of clean people (lice really prefer clean hair - so use lots of product to discourage them) But children's messy bedrooms and other untidy areas can be lovely places for them as well. Perhaps you have been one of those twelve million people and you know the knot that forms in your stomach when the discovery is made.

...At least that's how I felt when we discovered our pestilence this year. I am a bit of a neat-freak so not only did it make me feel dirty, but I also knew that I was in for at least a week of extra work at least that's how long it was a few years ago when my daughter's kindergarten class all got it. It took longer this time. Eliminating pestilence takes diligence.

And Patience.

All of the dress up costumes, doll clothes, stuffed animals, pillows, blankets, and jackets took up temporary residence in my laundry room. I sighed at this mountain that reached the height of my stature as I now had the usual amount of laundry for a large family, squared.

"Calgone, take me away!" I said.

I began vacuuming every inch of the house including the furniture. Repeatedly.

I washed all of the toys.

The kids were home from school while I treated their hair, and my nine-year-old remembered a conversation that we'd had about a time when my "Martha Stewart" mother had made a home-made pinata, so she decided that it was the perfect time to try making one herself.

I had just been thanking God that the children were playing so nicely on the deck while I cleaned, when I discovered the flour in the carpet. Appearently the reason that pinatas hold together so well is the flour paste. They had used over four cups of flour and filled the mop bucket with the paste. They were going back and forth to the wood box getting newspapers to cut into strips, and were covering an empty tissue box and an oatmeal container with them, among other things. All of the children were covered in flour paste. There were flour paste baby handprints on the screen door and the piano.

I called my mother. "Please pray for me!" I said.

But the thing that I dreaded the most was combing through the hair. It consumes enormous amounts of time. First you have to put goop on the hair to kill the bugs, then you have to comb them out to prevent re-infestation. You cannot just comb through it with the little comb, you must do it strand by strand. Carefully. Thouroughly. ...and I am meticulous about it.

My neck and back muscles tightened into tennis balls and I began to pray, "God, help me!"

In the first few days I sat there for over nine hours parting off tiny sections of hair(remember, I have SIX children that had to be checked!), and I could not help but think about patience. Not just my own patience (I could tell that my mother was praying because I was amazed at how calm I was through the process - incuding the flour paste), but I marvelled at the patience of my three-year-old daughter. As I went through her hair, she sang and chatted, played with my shoe lace, and even took a nice nap. She did not squirm, she did not complain. She simply allowed me to do what needed to be done.

For weeks I washed everything that even touched my kids. If they put on a shirt and then decided to wear something else, the "clean" shirt went back in the laundry. If they used an afghan while watching TV, I threw it in the dryer on high heat afterwards. I vacuumed inside the closets and under the beds. I treated their hair every few days and washed all of their sheets, blankets and pillows with each treatment and put their combs and brushes in the dishwasher. 

...But going through all of that hair every few days... that is what got to me. It is the most tedious task that I have ever done in my life! I guess it would not be so bad if I only had one child - - or if I only had boys so that I could shave their heads!

I can't even tell you how many times I wanted to just sit down and cry but I knew that all of that work would all be waiting  for me when I got back. I could not afford the time, so I pressed on.

Lice weeks are like dog years. Days and days of washing 5 to 10 loads of laundry and vacuuming every inch of the house feel like forever. At one point, my husband and I were talking about an event that had occurred just before the pestilence was discovered and I said, "That was just two weeks ago? I thought it was a month!"

I remember a conversation that I had with one of the pastors at my church a few months ago. Our writers group was working on a "Fruits of the Spirit" project and we struggled with the concepts of HOW we "grow" these "fruits" in our lives. In many places in scripture we are commanded to bear this fruit, yet this is something that only God can produce in our lives.
There are times when I chaf under the circumstances that God allows in my life and wish that I did not have to go throught them. But I am slowly learning that these are the things  that draw us close to God, that remind us that we really do need Him and that He really does care about the small details of our lives...

...and sometimes these circumstances are the things that produce the fruit of the Spirit in our lives. Like Patience.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control..."
Galations 5:22-23

"I am the vine, you [are] the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing."
John 15:5

A few years later I found a book called The Pumpkin Patch Parable by Liz Curtis Higgs that was so well written that I bought it and have read it to my children every year since then. I am going to use little bits and pieces of that book and some of my own adaptations to show you how you can tell your children the Pumpkin Parable - even if you don't have a book like this one to read to them. (If your children are preschoolers, highlight the most important concepts since their attention span for both the lesson and the carving will be limited. Also, try using just the key words of the verses.) I also want to mention that pumpkins are inanimate objects and cannot be "saved," so be careful not to suggest that about the pumpkin. It is nothing more than an object lesson.

It might go something like this:

Did you know that being a Christian is kind of like being this pumpkin?
You know how we went to the pumpkin patch and you picked out the pumpkin you wanted? In a way, God "picked" you! The Bible says:
"The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9 NIV


"And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on His name." Acts 22:16 NIV


"Create in me a clean heart, O God." Psalm 51:10 NKJV




"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light." Matthew 6:22 NIV


"A glad heart makes a happy face." Proverbs 15:13 NLT


"God, who said, "Let there be light in the darkness," has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ." 2 Corinthians 4:6 NLT

I am excited to be involved with the MOPS ministry again. This time I am one of the coordinators so I got the year's theme in advance.

It is a list of words.

Great words.

Words loaded with significance and strong meaning.

In scripture, this word is also translated "of sound mind," "reasonable" and "wise." The American College Dictionary says, "having, using, or showing good sense or sound judgement."
But it is so much more than what people think of my child when they read the T-shirts that I've placed on them, it's about  their character. What do I expect of my children now? What do I expect of them in the future?

My neighbor down-state has a good word for this. She would call it a "self-fulfilling prophesy." In other words, because you believe it, it will come true.