For several years I struggled with the idea of being "Filled with the Spirit."


I mulled over these thoughts from time to time. One day I heard a preacher illustrate it in a way that I could understand!

You are a stay-at-home mom. "A noble occupation!" you say out-loud as you drive home, startling yourself as your sharp comment breaks the silence.

Yes it is!

But have you ever thought of Homemaking as a job? Over the years I have encountered many women who stay home with their children and have been surprised how many of them think of it as only that - staying home.

I have been thinking about this for a week or so - ever since I read what one woman wrote about why she does not facebook. She said that she is such a social person that it would consume large amounts of her time. Time that is better spent in her home. She said, "I know working mothers who are better homemakers than stay-at-home moms because when they get home, they are fully engaged."

Shocking, but true. I know some my self. Sometimes I AM one of those dis-engaged women. I have had to learn to see this as a real job and, from time to time, I have had to remind myself to be more professional about it.

I thought about some of the "rules" that would keep a person from getting fired at any other job and wondered how much better our homes would run if the concepts were applied to this job as well!

So. For those of you who consider yourselves Professional Homemakers...



Get up in a timely fashion. Just because you don't have to get up, does not mean that you should not get up early! I find that I can accomplish the most in the morning. By the afternoon I feel sleepy and have to make a point of pushing on until I stop feeling tired. By the time I get all six (or seven) children to bed, I am wiped out. Any intentions that I had to get more done, fly out the window.

I also have to force myself to go to bed instead of vegging in the evening, because it does not help to stay up late and start off the next morning tired. Get the rest you need to do your job well!
 If you are not a morning person, you still have a job to do! My husband does not like to be spoken to first thing in the morning and he cannot eat when he first wakes up. He does not want me to get up and make him breakfast! He gets up a little bit early just so that he can get a cup of coffee and watch the news for a 1/2 hour before getting dressed for work. By the time he gets there, he is able to face other people.

You might also need to get up a little bit earlier so that you can face your family and your job in the morning.

Schedule one day each week to sleep in. Snuggle, take it slow, savor the warmth of the comforter and hubby's precious snoring. Welcome the kids into the bed for some cuddle time, too. Or lock the door and enjoy a few moments with just hubby. Having one day each week to savor the moment will make it more special, and give you something to look forward to without sliding into a lifestyle of laziness and lack of prodictivity.

2. Dress the part.





3. Do your job.

Start out by getting Organized. (See Organize Your Day {the Mary and Martha Way})

Tithe your time. (Spend some time with the Lord.)

Make a schedule that works for you and your family - and stick to it!

Make a (realistic) list of the things that you need to accomplish, and set out to do them. As you complete each task, cross it off and savor that sense of satisfaction! Remember to factor in interruptions and spur-of-the-moment needs of your small children. Get back to your tasks as soon as you can or, if needed on a particular day, scrap it and start fresh tomorrow!

4. Don't do personal things on company time.

You don't have someone else restricting your time - you have to do it for yourself.

Schedule those things in at nap time or while you are nursing your infant. Set a timer. Stop when your time is up - don't "give your-self permission" to do what you know is not right because then it becomes sin. Think of these "me-time" things as "break-time," or do it for a little while in the evening after you "Clock Out" - (just don't stay up too late and miss out on sleep time or hubby time).


5. Go above and beyond.

This is one area in which my husband excels. He really knows how to see what needs to be done and do it without being asked. He hates being bored at work so he will organize shelves and drawers in common areas, clean things, or invent projects for himself to do during slack times. Last year, he wrote a "procedure manual" for his entire department. His boss was amazed and asked him when he had found the time to do such a large (and much-needed) project. He had simply squeezed it in during all of his spare moments.

As Homemakers, we often feel like our jobs are plagued by re-work. We wash the clothes - and the next week we wash the same clothes. We vacuum the carpet,  and the next day we vacuum the same carpet. We wash the dishes, and three hours later we wash the same dishes... It can become easy to dream about a different job - one with exciting new tasks around every corner - and hard to remember that most jobs are one kind of re-work or another. So change that Stinkin' Thinkin' and remember "In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
1 Thessalonians 5:18

One way to spice it up is to occasionally do something that will stay done so that months later you can point to it and say "I painted that wall, I sewed that dress, I made that afghan, I took that picture (and framed it and hung it)..."

Look for those extra things that need to be done and do them.

But...

If you are the mother of a newborn, caring for an elderly parent, shuffling a dozen kids to sports and music lessons.... If you are sleep-deprived and holding on by a thread? Find things to NOT do. It might be on your list. You might want to do it. But maybe it simply does not need to be done - or at least not right now, or today, or this week. You do not have to make home-made cinnamon rolls, you can pick some up at the market. You don't have to re-paint that room, just put out a fresh vase of flowers.

You might need to practice some "responsible procrastination."

6. Seek to please your Clientele!
"Who's that?" you ask.

Why, your family, of course!

Don't think of your husband as a "boss," think of him as a client. Pay attention to what he likes. Sometimes he won't really say it, but that does not mean that you don't know..

I heard someone on the radio say that if you pay attention to what people complain about, you can find out what is important to them.

Listen.

Does he complain about the hasitly prepared TV dinners, the untidiness of the bedroom, or how the dishes never quite seem to be done? AHA! You have just discovered what he values! Now start trying to please your most important client!

So, professional homemaker, what about you?

Are you simply "staying home"? Or are you "Making Home"?


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Across the "street" from my house is a golf course and beyond that is one of the highest hills in the county, Sugar Loaf Mountain (named such because it used to be a ski resort - hence the chair lift in the foreground). A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I, along with our six children, climbed to the top to take in the views during our "full color" season.  

Facing East


 It was beautiful.

You can see for miles!

...Rolling hills blotted by an array of vivid colors.


...And the old ski resort in disrepair down below.

It is a great view...


I had just told her that I'd seen the picture that she posted on facebook of a shirt that she had purchased for my niece bearing the words "Everyone is Thankful for ME!" For most children, that statement could seem narsicistic, but not for Sweet Emily. For Emily, it's true!

Emily was born with Distal 18q- but her symptoms are not severe so she was not diagnosed until she was nearly two (her doctor was just dealing with each new symptom as it showed up).

I have never detected even a hint of bitterness in my sister-in-law. She simply had always had that question in the back of her mind and she voiced it! For two and a half years now, I have watched her handle the multitudes of doctor's appointments, surgeries, casts, leg braces and hearing aids with such grace. Emily is not coddled, so she has no idea that she has any limitations - she just takes everything in stride.
I knew just what to say.

"It's all a matter of perspective." I said.

I explained what I meant - that it's not that "some are blessed and some are not," we just have different types of blessings. Those of us who have "healthy" children have that one-dimentional blessing, but people who have "special needs" children have multi-dimensional blessings.

I reminded her of the things that she had just said about how amazed she is that her daughter is able to hear enough to speak and how she sits and watches her walk and thanks God that Emily is able to walk at all. I told her that the rest of us take those things for granted. It's not that we aren't thankful, we just don't have a reason to stand in awe about it, or to know that feeling of needing God on a day by day basis.

I pointed out that she was also a beneficiary of the "extra measure of grace" that God gives to us when we are in the midst of trials.

"These are all good things... If you choose to see it that way." I said.
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Perspective is something that I believe that my mother cultivated in me. I remember that on several occasions she asked me to put myself in the other person's shoes and try to see how they might be feeling, or what they may have been thinking in the situation. This skill has come in handy all through my life.
It has made a difference in ministry, in my marriage, and in relationships.

Hurt feelings can be saved by using this wonderful tool called perspective (I know because I have done it both ways!) When I get caught up in my own selfishness, and see only my own point of view, then disaster... But when I take a few moments to consider what the other person might be thinking or feeling, I am able to empathize with them and keep my emotions in check. (That is why it is one of the best tools to use in marriage!)

Perspective also helps with circumstances.

How many times do we grudgingly endure difficult circumstances, hoping that they will soon pass and we can get on with an easier life?

Scripture tells us to correct our perspective in difficult times:

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." James 1:2-4 NLT

Today, if you are struggling with a hard time in a relationship or a circumstance in your life, instead of changing where you are, trying turning around and seeing it a different way. It could change your life!

As I washed dishes, my husband flipped through the channels on the TV. He stopped on one long enough for me to hear a woman say:

"Someone helped put a mirror up in front of my face, and I didn't like what I saw one bit. You know what I did? I changed. And that someone was Mrs. Threadgoode."
Fried Green Tomatoes

Those words pulled at my heart because it reminded me of a time in my life when I needed someone to hold that mirror up to my face.

It must have been ten or twelve years ago. My husband and I had been in full-time ministry and left it because we could not raise our support, my husband was struggling to find his niche in the "real world," I had not done a good job of "leaving and cleaving" and was going back and forth between my husband and my parents, we had just bought our first home, and we had a couple of very small children.



I was aghast. "Leave him!! How could she say that! She was supposed to be a godly woman and give me biblical counsel!" I thought. This was hardly biblical counsel in my mind.


I still saw her at MOPS and Bible study and AWANA. I always spoke to her cordially. But I had chosen to end that close friendship. - - And since I no longer had someone to complain to, I stopped complaining and started doing the things that I should have done in the first place in my marriage.


I had a very close friend going through some struggles with her husband. She would call me and talk for hours, detailing everything that annoyed her about her husband and blaming him for her miserable life. She made him sound abusive, controlling, unloving and even potentially dangerous to her children.

...And for the first time in my life, I counselled a Christian woman to leave her husband!

Praise God, my friend did not leave her husband (just as I did not) and today their marriage is much better. (I guess that neither of our husbands were as terrible as we made them out to be!)

Being on the other side made me realize something. Naomi had been giving me good scriptural advice all along! I just had an arsenal of excuses why I could not do those things, or I had half-heartedly tried them and they had not worked. (Duh!)

I had just gained a new perspective - Naomi's perspective on my situation years ago, and I finally understood what made her say it. I was effectively telling her that there was no hope left for my marriage - even though she had been trying to remind me that there was. She said what I needed to hear - - that if I was unwilling to fix it, It could not be fixed. I either needed to "end it" or "mend it."


Yesterday our pastor said, "sometimes you need someone to tell you the truth when you are in a storm... you need to seek out people who will tell you the truth..."

Maybe you are that person in a storm right now and you have a friend giving you godly counsel. Listen! They can see more clearly than you can right now. Do what the scripture says, don't run from it. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it will hurt much less if you face it now rather than later. (I could have continued on that path and had a divorce to deal with along with the issues that already existed in our relationship.I would have simply added shared custody of children, extra living expenses, the  burden of failure - - and STILL had to continue a working relationship with my husband.)

If you don't have someone to tell you the truth, find one! Join a bible study group or call an "older" lady in your church.

Maybe you are the one giving the counsel. Don't be afraid. Keep at it. Don't worry about whether it might cost you the friendship. BE that friend that speaks truth into your friends' lives. You will both be blessed if you do. Even if they cannot thank you now, they will later.

"Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the Word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he had heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does."

James 1:22-25

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