Archive for January 2011

Home Archive for January 2011

The subject of making the home a haven has been coming up a lot in recent conversations.

A friend asked me (because I am a “Martha”) if I could help her organize her kitchen. She said that she has had to buy new things because she cannot find what she needs when she needs it. She wants her kitchen to work for her.

My sister told me that her New Year’s resolution is to be more intentional about the things she puts in her home – not just a picture here and a vase there to fill a blank spot – but things that she actually likes.

A few days later my sister-in-law said that she has a desire to make her home more comfortable…

welcoming…

and functional – like mine!

That last conversation got me thinking, and I realized something – I cannot take the credit for my home because God has always been my interior designer!

I know that sounds kind of odd, so let me explain.

We started out as missionaries, now we have a large family. We have never had much extra cash for “frivolous” things like decorating, so we have just “made do” with hand me downs –

Three-fourths of a beautiful dining room set forgotten in the attic of a house we rented (taken with permission, of course!)…

A colorful antique glass lamp that sat on someone’s screened in porch for so long that the dust masked it’s beauty…

A pair of dressers from Irwin Lutzer’s basement…

An ornate antique organ from somebody’s garage…

We’ve inherited various nick-nacks, tables and chairs, beds and dressers; from garage sales and garages, friends and neighbors.

Cast-offs to them, but blessings to me.

When we bought our historical home about ten years ago, our friends joked with us about playing basketball in the large, empty rooms, but over the next few years the rooms began to fill with beautiful and functional things. Curtains, wallpaper, pictures, lamps – everything gradually came into line - often at little or no expense (though not always on my time-table!)

God was clearly looking out for me.

But Why?

Why would the God of the universe care about the comfort, functionality and beauty of my home when He has so many big things to worry about – like wars and famines, starvation and earthquakes.

v It is because He cares about me! He is my loving Father and desires to give me good gifts (Luke 11:9-13, James 1:17).

v He is Beauty (Psalm 27:4; 90:17; 96:6) and has put the desire to be surrounded by beauty in our hearts – that is one of the reasons that we long for Him.

v He is keenly aware of what is in our hearts (Genesis 6:5, 1 Samuel 16:7) so, not only does He see all of the wickedness, but He also sees the passion – our interests, our secret dreams, our likes and dislikes, and His love motivates Him to give us those desires (Psalm 21:2; 37:4).

I had another opportunity to see His design work during our most recent move. Last Spring a friend’s teenage daughter redecorated her bedroom and took it from “tweeny” to “grown-up” so my daughters inherited her old, brightly colored bedspreads. When my husband and I saw this house for the first time (months later) I was shocked to see that one of the bedrooms was painted in neon green and sky blue – the exact same colors as the bedspreads!

What a great opportunity to teach my daughters this special thing about God!

He sees your heart, too. He knows what you like and His love motivates him to fulfill the desires of your heart. Give Him a call and allow Him the opportunity to fit you into His design schedule – you’ll be amazed at His work!

I was at a birthday party Saturday and all of the parents started talking about their mothers being like Martha Stewart. Cooking, sewing, knitting, crafts - - everything was made “from scratch”. One father said that his mom would record Martha’s TV shows (long before she was a house-hold name) and copy the projects, sending her boys in to the woods to collect pine cones and baby’s breath, hanging flowers and herbs upside down to dry all around the house…

It reminded me of my own mom. She is Martha Stewart, too. In fact, she is more Martha than Martha herself, because she doesn’t have “people” to do some of the prep work and parts of the projects for her. Mom does all of her own work.

I remember many times when we would be in a store and see something that we liked, but the price would not be right. Mom looked at it for a few minutes, then said, “I can make this.” And we would walk away, leaving the item in the store. Sometimes the home made product would turn out better than the commercial offering!

Clothing, crafts, Barbie clothes… nothing was too much of a challenge. She could take a photograph in a history book and create an authentic looking costume, or turn a cardboard box into a “Gingerbread” playhouse (I have pictures to prove it!)

I think that she may not have saved any money by making some things herself –it was simply the challenge that was the draw. It was a creative outlet for a homeschooling mother of six.

During the conversation I suddenly realized that Martha Stewart is a “Martha”!

In my imagination, I picture the Biblical Martha with impressive homemaking skills. She was the one that people would talk about – “You have not been to a Christmas party until you’ve been to one at Martha’s house!” they would say. “The decorations were amazing and each person had their own place card made of pinecones and some sort of glittery stuff! The food… Oh, my! That roast lamb would just melt in your mouth! And have you ever seen a seven layer chocolate cake with homemade raspberry preserve filling?”

But I am also aware of the struggle that Martha Stewart has had in her personal life. That is an issue that “Marthas” tend to have – while we are busy setting about our work, trying to be perfect, hoping to impress – we tend to neglect inter-personal relationships.

“I’ll read to you in a minute, honey. I’m busy now. Run along and play.”

It is ABSOLUTELY possible to be both Mary and Martha wrapped up into one excellent woman. This is what I am working on in my life, now. For me it means putting relational things on the “to do” list…

“Time with the Lord”; “talk to husband”; “read to children”.

…And treating them with as much importance as “clean the kitchen”; “wash dark delicates”; and “prepare dinner.”

Even better, involve your family in your work. Teach them how to make everything “from scratch.” This way you can get your work done, build relationships, and pass your skills to the next generation – all at the same time! (Martha’s love multi-tasking!)

I am glad that’s what my mom did with me.

Now I will go into a store and see something I like and say, “I can make that…”

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. (relationship) She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (relationship) She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. (work) She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. (work) She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. (work) She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. (work) She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. (work) In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. (work) She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. (relationship) When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. (work) Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. (relationship)She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. (work) She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. (relationship) She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (work) Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." (relationship) Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” Proverbs 31:10-31

I am a Martha. I can’t help it. I am always making lists of things to do and I enjoy that feeling of satisfaction when I can cross things off. Done!

Ahhh.

Unfortunately, this means that I am a “task oriented” person rather than a “people oriented” person. Or put more simply, I am more inclined to make a priority out of to-do lists than people.

I Know! It sounds terrible!

Since I understand this about myself, I know that I have to put “read to babies” and “call sister-in-law” on that to-do list. I was relieved when my wonderful godly grandmother told me one day that I am just like her in that way! I want to be like her – and she seems to have a good balance between getting things done and loving people – that means there is hope for me!

When I started thinking about writing this blog, I thought of a small story in the Bible.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said.

But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

“Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:38-42 NIV

I know that Jesus was not telling Martha that she should never apply herself to a task and get things done. But I do believe that He was simply reminding her that there is a time for completing tasks, and a time for sitting at His feet and listening to Him,

Enjoying His presence,

Worshiping Him.

He was saying that His time with them was shorter than she thought, and that, if she only knew, she would order take out instead of trying to put on an impressive spread, and sit down by Him too,

because that was the better choice at that moment.

What I want is to strike that balance somewhere between Mary and Martha.

I want to get things done.

But I also want to take the time to sit at Jesus' feet and enjoy His presence.

That is my goal, not just for this year, but for the rest of my life…

So I am sharing my journey with you, and hoping that you will share your journey with me.

photo credit

“I lead a small life.” writes a character in the movie You’ve Got Mail, “Valuable, but small.” I find myself understanding the sentiment and, at the same time, wondering how valuable I am in my small life. Most days I do not feel very valuable.

As I write this, my toddler is behind me on my desk chair with her knees in my back and I am sporting a smear of Spaghetti Os across my chest.

This is already my second shirt for the day – the baby spit up down my front this morning.

I spend my days in the company of children so my time is always fragmented – I rarely have the opportunity to complete anything that I start. I do not accomplish great things, I do laundry – lots and lots of laundry – and then I do all of the same laundry over again! I clean the house and then my children come home from school and it looks like the house has never been cleaned.

Ever.

I used to direct a ministry, teach Sunday school, play the piano in church… Now I rarely have a chance to display any of my talents or be involved in the ministry for which I was trained. Most of the time I feel as though I am under house arrest.

Because of the kind of life I lead, I do not have many friends – there simply is not time to cultivate relationships with people whose socks I don’t wash!

Sometimes in a private pity party I wonder if anyone would even miss me if I evaporated. There are few people whose lives would truly be affected. My husband can do everything that I can do, but better! And my kids – well, they don’t hear me when I talk anyway… they might not even notice that I was missing! *Wink*

“It is just the stage of life that you are in,” my husband says, “You will be able to do all of those things again.” I know. Some days it just seems such a long way off.

“Your children are a valid ministry right now.” he reminds me.

What a great way of putting my small life into perspective!

My mom sent me an email once called “The Invisible Woman” written by a mom who feels invisible, just as I do. She described how the great cathedrals in Europe are ornate, detailed, beautiful – yet no one knows who built them. She talked about how we build into our children’s lives, and do things that no one ever sees –

Except God.

So I will put in another load of laundry, change my shirt for the third time today, sing “I love you, I think you’re grand, there’s none like you in all the land…”[1] to my little girl for the seventh time today because we do all of our ordinary things “…as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord we will receive the reward… for we serve the Lord Christ.” (Col. 3:23-24)

[1] Sleepytime Rhyme by Remy Charlip

God is my Interior Designer

My Mother is “Martha Stewart”

Are You a Mary, or a Martha?

My Small Life

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